2017- The rollercoaster
2017 has been a rollercoaster to say the very least. As we all know things can soon turn and this year has had many ups and downs.
Coming into 2017, we knew that we would be having another little baby in our lives and we knew that would not be easy. We were very much prepared and beyond excited as the weeks past. Around this time, I became unhappy in my job and knew I had to find something new. I was determined to find a new job before July, when baby was due. Most nights were spent looking at job websites and baby product sites. Travis and Roman were growing and we were preparing them for having a little baby brother!
By the end of May I found out I had a new job. I was so happy to be moving on and it felt like a weight had been lifted. From there it was all crazy busy with baby prep. We were looking forward to spending loads of time with the boys and baby throughout the summer holidays.
My new job was going brilliant and on the 12th of July baby Ace joined our family. It was a lovely delivery and much more relaxed than the last two. It all went to plan and Fiona and Ace had a strong recovery. I couldn’t have been happier. Three weeks past and Ace was the textbook perfect baby. Sleeping, feeding with no health problems Ace was gaining good weight and we kind of knew this was to good to be true.
August shifted all that happiness and the darkness ascended. August, September, October and most of this month have been the most challenging months I have ever experienced. Everything else such as work and getting some major jobs done in the house we’re moving forward and all was good. It didn’t matter about all the good stuff going on. The negatives were majorly outweighing the positives.
I felt throughout these weeks I was existing. I was trying to keep life as normal as possible but my brain literally felt like it was crumbling. I shut most people out. The people I spoke to on a daily became weekly messages to say hi. Fiona and I would no longer talk we would either not talk or argue, there was nothing in between. Looking back the only thing that stopped me going off the rails were Travis and Roman. I most likely had PND. I managed to chat with people at work and friends to help me through and I truly appreciate that.
I won’t bore you with every hospital and doctors visit we had with Ace but he’s been unwell for most of his life with silent reflux and severe allergies. Listening to a baby scream in pain and not been able to do much about it for weeks on end has been horrible. We still don’t know exactly what the issue is with him but his reflux is under control with medication and Fiona is still breastfeeding which means she’s had to cut out dairy and eggs.
The end of the year is almost here and it feels like it’s taking a final turn for the better. Ace is having better days, the boys are really doing well at school. We’re finally on top of our home improvements. Things are falling into place. The biggest lesson I’ve learnt this year is I’m not as mentally strong as I thought. Things do effect me and people actually genuinely care when your going through a shit time. Every single person that’s sent us a message of support, spoke to me at work or given us advice I thank you from the bottom of my heart!!
When someone asks me how 2017 has been, I think my reply will be “no comment!”
Merry Christmas and a happy new year!!
Luke and Family