The School Playground 

The School Playground 

The place where all walks of life gather to drop off and pick up their precious little children, the school playground!

I personally try to get to school with only one minute until the bell. I will sit in the car to the very last minute, before I have to take a deep breath and walk through the metal gates of parenting doom!!

On occasion I have been there ten minutes early, it’s at this time I realised what a strange place the playground is. You begin to notice the parent clicks. It all starts with the smokers outside the gate, catching up about how shit their husband are, or how they don’t have enough money for the Iceland shop (as they stand there with their two packs of fags). The next group of people are probably where I fit in. The pretending to be on your phone/ sitting on your own with your head down group. We don’t want to engage in conversation. Then there’s the ones that do nothing but talk and talk and talk. You can hear every word of their conversation from over one mile away!

Don’t get me wrong, there are some people at school I will happily talk to, but 95% of the parents at school I have no intention of ever talking too. I guess it’s like been in a doctors waiting room. Your all there for a reason, there no need to talk really. I know I sound mega antisocial buts it true.

For some parents, the school run is there only chance to get some adult conversation, I often see some parents standing outside the gates half an hour before school ends. At first I thought this was absolutely insane but it actually makes sense. The calm before the inevitable storm.

The thing that annoys me the most has to be the late parents that are dragging their kids by the arm whilst shouting at them (sometimes swearing) I can guarantee it’s not the kids fault they are late!! I’m not saying we’ve never been late or I’ve never got frustrated about how slow the boys have walked, but when we’re late its 100% my fault.

I don’t think it helps that 95% of parents at my boys school are female. Biggest group are Mums, then Nans, then Dad’s. I’ve even been asked if I have a job before!! I work sixty plus hours a week you silly bitch!!  

What are you thoughts on the school playground? Do you like the playground banter? 

As I’m writing this it’s raining hard and there’s only 54 minutes until I need to do the school run ffs!!!

Luke



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